How to Manage Your Career When "Life Gets in the Way"

From Anita Borg Institute Wiki

Panelists: Kathleen E Naughton (Hewlett-Packard), Jody Mahoney (Anita Borg Institute), Celeste Null (Intel), Valentina Salapura (IBM), Rebecca Coleman (Microsoft), Henry Schauer (Hewlett-Packard)

This was a great session where the panelists shared their true life experiences with us. They talked about how they managed their careers and remained successful as they have been facing very hard life situations.

Kathleen started the session by introducing herself and mentioning that staff happens outside the work and outside the career. Women are still socialized to be primary care given. They need to develop tools to help survive. Kathleen is single mom for three sons. She is a breast cancer survivor. She survived this terrible disease while taking care of three sons and she thrived throughout it. After her brief introduction, Kathleen asked each one of the panelists to introduce themselves and share some of their experiences:

Jody Mahoney: breast cancer survivor, entire family under lots of stress. Left to work on the non-profit sector to do things that are meaningful for her. Valentina Salapura: computer architect. Joined IBM 8 years ago. Has two kids aged 10 and 6, aging parents, and a demanding career.

Henry Schauer: German immigrant after world war II. Faced lots of discrimination. Father came from Germany as a physicist. Raised in a family where education and doing well are important. Supportive environment. Mother had great ability to have fun and balance life. Mother taught him a lot about reaching balance in life. Need to put projects aside and go home to spend time with family. He always used the teachings of his mom to balance his life and career.

Rebecca Coleman : 25 years of career. Always in men dominated industry. Sole care taker of 2 parents who both died of cancer. Needed to balance how much to give to parents and work. Had to undergo menopause at an early age (35), while she was in an upward path in her career. How to balance and to present yourself to your company when you are ill. Learning when to say no and when to prioritize yourself has a positive aspect. Need to take care of yourself. Left technology for a couple of years and came back into it. When she was 36, she was managing a large project for flight control. Project was going spectacular. At the same time she was starting to have hot flushes. When she learned what was going on with her. She felt her body was out of control. Knowing what she had helped her be well prepared. She decided to take some time off and not to be in the corporate environments when she was feeling very sick. She spent 2 years getting her masters when she was going through menopause.

Panel Q/A: - What tools do you use? Valentina: Arranged with management to work from home. IBM supported her. Arranged for high speed network in her parent’s home. Her father improved significantly. Spent most of the afternoon on the phone working. Spent the mornings with her parents and arranged things for them when they needed it. Father recovered significantly.

- Was your career hurt? Jody: Cancer forces you to make big decisions and you need to make them fairly rapidly. Make the best decision you can make at the time and not look back. She left the for-profit section an didn’t look back. Biggest tool: do the best you can at a particular time and not look back. Allow yourself to make mistakes and go on. What’s the worst that can happen.

- Address what you do as manager to help people like myself to keep them going? Henry: > Be true to yourself. I have made many decisions that were bad for my career and I am glad I did. You only have one life to live, be happy. I had an opportunity to relocate my family but I said no even if that was good for my career. I said no because it wasn’t good for my family. > Is this really what I want to do? Do the right thing for you and your support infrastructure (spouse, kids, parents) > What brings me everyday to work is working with remarkable people. > If you do something that is not working for you, you will not succeed because you won’t be happy.

- Tools of Choice: Kathleen: Swimming, yoga, physical activity

Valentina: Meditate several minutes every day. Even as little as 2 minutes meditation is beneficial. Travel as often as you can. Visiting new places and seeing how other people live, and problems they are dealing with gives you a new perspective on your own problems.

Audience Q/A

A PhD student shared her remarkable life experience with us when life got in her way. - A Phd student with 5 kids. 6 years old daughter had a stoke brain damage, cognitive disorder. Needed a transplant. During the same year, another child was in a car accident, during the same year another kid with gold bladder removed. What helped her faith, husband, family. Great support system allowed her to be here today. Family issues arise and we need to talk about them. Having a balance is so important. Obtaining Phd is important but family and faith come first.

Q: How open you were with your issues in your workplace? Rebecca: kept it all to herself because she was embarrassed. But that wasn’t in her best interest. When her parents had cancer, she was open about it. When she held it in, her energy was weaker. Much better to be straightforward.

Henry: When he was diagnosed with cancer, he was afraid he would loose his job. Need to let the people know what is going on. You need to be upfront. If the manager can’t accept that, move forward. This means that he/she is not the person you need to be working for. Need to distinguish between friends and people who are using you.

Q: I want to travel around the world. How to balance that with work? Valentina: Sometimes you personal life needs immediate attention. Once your private life is settled, need to focus on your professional life. Get a job with a global operation and tell them upfront that you want to travel.

Is language a barrier? English gives advantage

Q: Describe one tool or one advice you wish you knew before problems hit you.

- Be happy - Build relationships. Have your friends and your support structure - Travel helps, should be thankful for what you have - Listen to your heart